A Letter to my Womb
Dear Womb,
I spent so many years wishing you would go away and just leave me be.
I always felt that because you were there, I was at a disadvantage. Being female meant I did not matter as much as my male counterparts. Old stories told go how Eve damned us to earth and sin. That the only God and saviour were depicted as perfect men- who could do no wrong.
As a woman, I needed saving from tall towers and other women trying to hurt/kill us with poisoned apples. The only people brave enough to save us with a kiss was a man/prince/ king. Each prince, story of Jesus, even our religious & countries leaders were men tasked with “saving” women.
We were seen as weak, unworthy, and needed to be controlled as beings. Our natural functions of menstruating were seen as shameful, disgusting and not be spoken of.
Did no-one realise that if it wasn’t from our bodies, we as a being would not exist?
For so many years, I believed these stories, narratives and depictions of the female. I allowed myself to not see the truth but instead the untruths.
Under these false beliefs, was years of rage I felt, of not being satisfied with how the world, religions and societies had framed women.
The rage, despair and anger I felt mimicked that monthly pain I would receive with every bleed.
I wanted to take a phone that had an ear to each being in the world and ask them:
-How can you not feel the incongruence?
How can sex be sinful when we need it for our creation?
Why would it feel good if it was ONLY for pro-creation?
Why are women not revered for what their bodies can do?
Did no-one think that Eve’s simply saw the truth when she ate the apple, that its magic rid her of the disillusion of her ego?
This confusion, anger and desire brought me back to you.
I am sorry for not seeing you as sacred.
I am sorry for putting you in harms way when you were saying ‘No!’.
I am sorry for numbing that pain in anyway I could.
I am sorry for allowing those who did not revere and respect you penetrate you.
I am sorry for forcing you when you weren’t ready.
I am sorry for not seeing the truth sooner.
I am sorry for wishing you away.
I am sorry for believing the stories told when I could feel the dissonance.
I now bow to you. I bow to the power and gnosis you have bestowed upon me. I come into communion with you.
I promise to listen deeply and from this space I serve, myself, loved ones and the collective to help us clear the veil of the disillusion and to see truth.
Love
Niamh
